Five Points Bonus Content - Serena Akeroyd

Bonus Scenes

Gem

The soft smile the woman sent me edged toward nervousness. It had me tipping my head to the side in silent query as she continued to just hover there, blankly gaping at me. “Is everything okay?” I asked hesitantly.

The blonde woman standing beside the redhead giggled. “Aoife’s just fangirling. Give her a moment?”

Holding out my hand, I introduced myself, “Serena Akeroyd.”

“Is it true your real name is Gemma Mazurke?”

“It is. I have another pen name that’s my real name. Maybe you’ve read some books under G.A Mazurke?”

It was the blonde’s turn to go bright pink. “Oh, yeah, we’ve read all your Quintessence books.”

“They’re the first books I read and loved of yours,” ‘Aoife’ croaked out. “They’re my favorite.”

I beamed a smile at them. “I’m so happy to hear that. The Quints will always have a place in my heart. Mostly, I just wish I could be Sascha when I grow up.”

The blonde chuckled. “I mean, I’d wish that too but I’m living with a real book boyfriend.”

My nose crinkled. “Lucky you. Maybe you can introduce me to one for myself.”

The two women shared a glance, one that was loaded with…

Huh.

I couldn’t describe it and seeing as I spent half my life studying people’s interactions and reactions to one another rather than, you know, actually living, that came as a surprise. By no means was I an expert in body language, but I was good at reading between the lines.

When the silence turned awkward, I cleared my throat. “Do you have some books for me to sign?”

That was when a god appeared from nowhere.

One worthy of Greek God infamy.

One so fucking beautiful I gaped for a moment as he walked toward me.

Me.

Mouth round, I studied the stranger and realized that he was—

I blinked.

Was he dragging a cart loaded with books?

I blinked again.

Shit, that meant he wasn’t going to sweep me off my feet. He’d already done the sweeping…

“Aoife, I almost lost you,” he groused. “How many times did I tell you that you can’t run off?”

The redhead huffed and shot me an embarrassed look. “Finn only sounds like an asshole but he really isn’t. He’s just concerned for my safety.”

My brows lifted as I glanced around the convention hall. “Safety? Are we in danger?” I asked with no small amount of alarm.

The blonde coughed. “No, no danger.”

Why didn’t that reassure me?

“Inessa, dammit, how did you run off?”

The gruff voice had my mouth gaping wider than before when I saw another beautiful specimen of a man appear with a second crate. Both of them wore Brioni, tailored to perfection. Their suits alone had to cost twenty grand, never mind the watches on their wrists.

The women looked normal, though. I’d bought Aoife’s dress from Zara last year when I thought I was going on a diet and that I’d stick to it, and the blonde’s boots were UGGs like mine.

The blonde beamed a grin at the man… Was he her bodyguard? “Eoghan, you thought we weren’t immediately making a beeline for this table?”

“Considering you have forty books here for her to sign, no,” ‘Eoghan’ muttered with a scowl. He stared at me, unblinking for endless moments. It had me feeling like a deer in headlights.

Gulping, I muttered, “Well, erm, I guess I need to get started if you both have so many books?”

My assistant, Anne, her head bowed as she studied something on her phone, popped out of nowhere, stating, “Only five books per person, I’m afra—” Then she looked up. Then her mouth rounded. And, hell, I couldn’t blame her.

She cut me a look. My eyes flared wide. Then hers did the same in a silent byplay that would make sense to only us.

These guys were fucking hot and, clearly, they were taken and whipped if they were carting around dozens of paperbacks for their women.

Jealous? Yes. I was very, very jealous.

“They want all the books signed, Ms. Akeroyd,” Aoife’s man, Finn, intoned.

I gulped. “Convention rules—”

He shot me a grin that would’ve knocked me out if I weren’t sitting down. “Rules were made to be broken.” That’s when he placed an envelope on the table. “For the charity of your choice.”

I swallowed as I picked up the envelope then, as I untucked the fold, my already round mouth gaped even more. “Jesus Christ,” I spat, shoving what had to be ten thousand fucking dollars under the table. Then, I frowned. “Is that a bribe?”

“I like to think of it as being persuasive?”

“Finn,” Aoife tutted, her cheeks pink with embarrassment. “You don’t have to listen to him. We can line up again if you want—”

“We can’t spend all day here, Aoife. We only came because she canceled that other goddamn signing and she doesn’t attend that many,” Eoghan grumbled, glowering at me as if it were my fault that I lived across the pond and not in the US.

I squeaked, “Sorry about that.”

Anne leaned low and muttered, “Ten thousand dollars for THORN.”

I nodded. “Definitely but will I get in trouble?”

She snorted in my ear. “You’re such a good girl.”

“And you’re not,” I retorted crossly. Blinking at the odd foursome in front of me, I murmured, “I don’t want you to think I’m easily bought but this is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me so I’ll do it this once…”

That was when Eoghan dropped an envelope on the table. It was bigger than Finn’s. I swallowed at the sight then at him.

“There’s a card in there with our address as well as a generous donation for the charity of your choice. I’m sure Aoife and Inessa would love to have afternoon tea with you tomorrow.”

My mouth gaped even more than before. I picked up the envelope then gulped. Anne snatched it from my grasp with one hand and held out the other for him. “She’ll be there. What time?”

“Two?” Eoghan queried, shaking hands with her.

“Two,” Anne agreed. “If you’d prefer, Serena could—”

“Gemma,” I interrupted. “My friends call me Gem.”

Inessa squealed and elbowed Aoife in the side. “OMG.”

Aoife whispered, “Gem.”

“I can sign the books when we meet tomorrow?” I offered, glancing around like we were conducting a shady business deal…

But then, I guessed we were. I’d just been fucking bribed.

Adrenaline shot through me at the notion as Aoife grinned. “We’d love that! Okay, so, tomorrow at two.” She slipped a card on the table. “Here’s my cell number. Feel free to message, you know, if you need anything. I know it’s, like, your second time in the States so…”

I smiled. “You follow me on social media?”

Inessa chuckled. “We stalk you everywhere.”

I picked it up, studied the luxurious vellum card, and read: ‘Aoife O’Grady.’

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Aoife.”

Another card made an appearance on the table. This one read: ‘Inessa O’Donnelly.’

My brow furrowed at the names. “You know I think I’ve seen you in my Diva group…”

When I looked up, however, they were gone.

Shooting the next person in the line a shaky smile as she surged forward, shrouding the foursome in the crowd of people attending the event, I turned to Anne. “Did that really just happen?”

Anne wafted the envelopes in front of her like they were a fan. “Thirty thousand dollars just happened.”

I shook my head. “This is the weirdest day of my life.”

Anne patted my shoulder. “And this is just your first convention in the US.”

Fuck, she was right!

What would happen at the next one?

A Dead to Me Thanksgiving

Cin

“I have a plan and I think you need to hear it.”

My brows lift as Savannah plunks herself beside me at the Thanksgiving table.

Well, I say Thanksgiving table but that’s a recent development as Star was behind this year’s preparations and a natural interior decorator she isn’t.

The cornucopia looks distinctly unseasonal what with a medley of tropical fruits in it to piss Lena off but Aoife tutted at the sight of her sister-in-law’s lackluster offering and took over. That means we’ll be eating in an expensive department store’s idea of Thanksgiving.

Complete with Caribbean fruit medley.

“Do you even like me?”

That earns me a scowl. “Do I have to like you, Cin?”

“Fair point. So what’s the plan? Is it political because I really don’t want to have to deal with this today. If you knew what your husband had me—” I break off before I can incriminate either myself or Aidan Jr. but it earns me an intrigued glance.

“Aidan has a plan?” She releases a dreamy sigh. “Should have known.”

“The cranberry jelly is on the table, Grandma!” Shay yells as he dips his head into the dining room. “Can I go watch a movie with Kat now?”

My eyes flick off him and onto Savannah who beams at me then claps her hands together like a seal at SeaWorld.

“Please don’t squeal,” I grumble, rubbing my ear in preparation but she earns my respect by only declaring:

“Someone will be getting a blowjob tonight.”

I snort. “Good to know.”

Truthfully, getting a mobster’s son into the White House deserves more than a BJ. But who am I to criticize?

“Are you two planning the downfall of civilization?” Star inquires as she also steps into the room and plunks down beside me.

“Maybe,” Savannah muses. “What do you think would happen if we assassinated—”

I groan. “No politics!”

Savannah huffs but concedes with a deep sip of her Manhattan.

Star’s finger flicks at a disgustingly neat napkin that has a tiny pumpkin with our names on them as a ring. How Star’s sister-in-law pulled this off on such short notice is beyond me. “I swear Aoife wanted me to break out in hives. It’s too much.”

“It’s not that bad,” I reason. “Looks like something from a movie. I think it’s neat.”

And I do.

Thanksgiving used to be a big deal in my house but since my work took me away one time too many, I never feel all that welcome at home.

When Star invited me, I swear I almost cried.

Not that I told her that.

“Aoife must have been a window dresser in a past life,” Savannah drawls. “These are silver.”

When she points to the engraved napkin rings, my eyes widen. “Do I want to know how she got a jeweler to engrave this stuff today of all days?”

“I saw Brennan head out with a set of brass knuckles earlier,” Star says around a cackle.

“Real festive,” I chide with an eye roll.

“What are you doing in here?” When Troy strolls in, I take note of the weapons strapped to her shoulders. Yes, plural. And yes, visible. Only in this household would that be allowed. “Dinner won’t be served for a while yet.”

Ignoring her question, I chide, “Troy, even I came unarmed.”

“Bullshit,” she rasps unapologetically. “Tell me those bell-bottoms aren’t hiding an ankle holster.”

I sniff. “I plead the Fifth.”

She rubs her nose with her middle finger.

“And I don’t do flares unless they’re the pyrotechnic version.”

“Where’s kiddo?” Star asks Troy before we can start bickering.

After that stunt she pulled last week, she’s lucky I’m only bickering. It’s either that or drown Troy in a gravy boat.

“With Lena. They’re doing something disgusting with macaroni and cheese.” As she takes a seat opposite me, she asks, “You still flying out tomorrow?”

I scowl at her. “I’m not talking about work. Sheesh!”

“Where is she going?” Savannah asks.

“Russia,” Star answers. “Bought her ticket myself.”

I heave a sigh. “I’m going to sit with the kids and watch Disney movies.”

Star tugs on my hand to keep me seated. “Want to talk about turkey and stuffing?”

“Is it too much to ask?”

“You wouldn’t want to sit with the kids anyway. They’re watching Bambi,” Troy informs me.

I gape at her. “Are you for real? I think Aoife needs to dose everyone with lithium. Apparently, the two of us are the only ones feeling the festive cheer!”

Savannah rocks back in her seat and raises her glass. “If you’re unaliving who I think you’re unaliving tomorrow then ho, fucking ho. I’m totally feeling the festive vibes.”

“Wrong holiday,” I grouse.

She beams at me. “This deserves an epic Christmas gift.”

“I take American Express.”

Star chuckles. “Cin only accepts cash or gold.”

“That can be arranged,” Savannah half-purrs.

Troy grumbles, “I’d have done it today to avoid this bullshit.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not allowed on a job until you prove to Aidan you’re not completely deranged,” I counter.

“It’s not my fault I had to unalive three—”

“No. Work. Talk!” I slap my hand on the table. “We’re going to eat too much turkey, gorge on marshmallow yams, drink a gallon of wine, glut on pumpkin pie, and forget that the world is a shitshow for one day. Now, if you bitches can’t do that, I’m going to sit with the Grinch himself and let Brennan cheer me up.”

Savannah tuts. “Man, you weren’t lying when you said she took Thanksgiving seriously, Star.”

I growl under my breath then, as I stomp out of the room, call out, “Brennan, where are you? SOS!”

Serena Akeroyd 2024

Chaos Chat

Dead To Me: taps mic

Dead To Me: I’ve called you all here for a town hall meeting.

Maxim: How did you get my number?

Dead To Me: PURlease. Like it’s hard to find?

Cody: Who is this?

Stan: Fuck off, Dead To Me. I don’t have time for this.

Matt: Who the hell are you guys?

Serena: Um. I think I may have been added to this group chat by mistake.

Dead To Me: Oh, no, missy. @Serena, you are the reason for this town hall! Now, what the fuck is going on?

Serena: What do you mean?

Dead To Me: What do I mean?! WHAT. DO. I. MEAN? I was PROMISED a happily-ever-after, thank you very much. Where the hell is it?

Dead To Me: You don’t promise a sniper something only to renege…

Serena: sweats Writer’s block is a bitch?

Maxim: Why are you making me wait for my Victoria?

Serena: Because, she’s, um, you know, a teenager?

Maxim: You own the timeline!! YOU CAN MOVE IT ALONG. I want my woman.

Serena: Yes, well, I know, but you need to own the US first. I’m just being pragmatic

Cody: Did nobody ever tell you that love isn’t pragmatic?

Serena: Oh, hush, you. I’ve written your story!

Cody: I know but just saying

Cody: Also, you haven’t edited me yet…

Cody: So, don’t get too big for your britches, Miz. Serena

Serena: Look, I don’t know why you’re all coming at me. I’m only one person with two hands! I’m trying here

Matt: I was supposed to have my woman in January.

Matt: Serena fucking sucks

Serena: Look, if this is supposed to be inspiring me to write, it isn’t working.

Serena: I’m doing what I can! Did you know I used to write 10,000 words a day easily?! NOW I’M AIMING FOR 1K A DAY and I’m proud of hitting that goal!

Dead To Me: Jesus. What the hell went wrong with you?

Serena: It’s called grief. And stress. And have you looked outside the window recently? It’s not exactly good for the creative soul.

Stan: Leave her alone. She’s doing her best

Maxim: Says you. Your story is practically written.

Stan: Yeah. I know. looks smug in Sicilian

Stan: But I get it, Serena. Grief is the worst

Serena: Thanks, Stan. I really appreciate that. And you’re welcome, btw, lol.

Serena: You’re all getting stories. That’s my official statement.

Maxim: Not good enough.

Maxim: I know how many people ask for my story.

Dmitri: I’m next

Maxim: Fuck you

Dmitri: I am! It says so at the end of Silenced.

Serena: Yes, well, I opened your file recently, Dmitri

Dmitri: gives Serena puppy dog eyes

Dmitri: Really?

Maxim: I don’t believe this. How long will you make me wait?!

Serena: THE TIMELINE IS MAKING YOU WAIT

Maxim: YOU OWN THE TIMELINE. MAKE IT FIT!

Serena: I can’t! I would if I could. But I have a lot of manuevering and plotting and shit going on. You think this is easy?!

Maxim: No, but I notice you’re crocheting. You could be writing when you’re doing that

Serena: I’m allowed downtime.

Maxim: The wear and tear on your joints should be exclusive to writing. No crocheting.

Serena: Who made you my boss?

Maxim: Oh, you don’t want me to be your boss, Serena.

Dead To Me: Stop threatening the nice lady, Lyanov.

Dead To Me: I heard you had some technical issues with my book. Is that true?

Serena: Yes. I lost a lot of words when the word processor I use didn’t sync properly. That set me back a lot.

Serena: I’m trying though. I promise. You’ll all get your HEAs, I just need you to be patient with me. The timeline is important because each of you is a cog in the machine of the universe and if you’re not all perfectly placed, it just goes to shit.

Serena: But I love you guys, and want you to have your HEAs, so just remember that, would you?

Dead To Me: Is it true I’ll have two heroes?

Serena: Yes.

Dead To Me: NEAT!

Maxim: I only want Victoria

Serena: Unluckily for her, that’s who you’re getting.

Maxim: Charming!

Serena: I try

Cody: I know who my woman is.

Serena: Should hope so seeing as I’ve spent 126k words getting you two together!

Matt: What about me? Is it the jersey lady?

Serena: Sure is

Matt: WOOOT

Dmitri: How about my woman?

Serena: Your princess

Dmitri: Thank fuck for that. I didn’t want anyone else.

Serena: As for you, Stan, I’m just about to dive back into the final chapters of your book.

Stan: Grazi, Serena. If you ever come to New York, you call me up and I’ll make sure you’re in the best suite The Victoria has

Serena: Aww, no worries, Stan.

Serena: Okay, now that you’ve cut me some slack, I can get back to what I was originally doing

Maxim: Crocheting? 😒

Serena: No, actually, knitting and watching hockey! I’ll make you pay for that…

Photoshoot

Conor: Whoa

Finn: ?

Declan: ??

Brennan: ???

Aidan: ????

Conor: I GET THE FUCKING PICTURE

Eoghan: I hate it when you do this

Conor: That hurts, Eoghan. That really hurts

Brennan: I think that was the point

Aidan: 🤣

Declan: Oh, shit, someone’s gotten laid lol. The emojis only come out when Aidan’s just blown his load OR he has Savannah tied up somewhere

Aidan: That’s between me, my sheets and my filthy queen 😁

Finn: Stop it. It’s getting creepy

Eoghan: Here we go with the queen bs. You’re not a king, Aidan.

Brennan: Technically I’m the king now lol

Finn: Enough! Some of us have children we need to stop from putting their fingers into the toaster, Conor. Get on with it.

Conor: Do I even want to know?

Finn: Be grateful Kat came to you as almost a whole person lol

Brennan: Jake kneed me in the balls yesterday btw

Finn: What do you want? Compensation?

Finn: Been kneed more times by my kid than by the fucking Albanians back when I was on the streets!

Declan: Same

Declan: And let me tell you that stepping on Legos is almost as bad as being shot

Eoghan: Liar

Declan: Your time will come. Felix will live up to his name

Eoghan: Oh, good.

Conor: You never were great with sarcasm Eoghan, were you?

Declan: hahahahah

Declan: Eoghan is two parts sarcasm

Aidan: That means he’s sleep-deprived

Eoghan: Felix is teething

Finn: GOD, NOT THE TEETH

Conor: Before this gets anymore disturbing

Declan: Did you know kids have all their teeth in their skull?

Conor: I’VE SEEN THE IMAGES. DO NOT GO THERE

Declan: Then you’d better share the deets before I upload pics here

Aidan: If this works… have you found a way to corral our brother, Dec?

Conor: The photo shoot!!!!

Declan: Which one?

Finn: Oh, fuck

Finn: You found out about that?

Conor: As if you could keep this from me

Conor: Actually. Not just me. That author who’s obsessed with us. Somehow, she got her hands on the pictures.

Finn: Fuck off!

Aidan: Are you joking, Kid?

Conor: Why would I joke about our stalker?

Brennan: I thought she was done with us. I still don’t understand why we can’t sue her for libel.

Aidan: Slander, too

Finn: And harassment

Conor: You might have grounds now 🤔

Conor: She’s literally taken some of the pictures from the shoot and has put them on her covers

Conor: Word has it that they’re dropping tomorrow

Aidan: Which ones?

Brennan: Duh. Aoife and Finn got two books. I’m still pissed about that

Declan: You and me both

Conor: Are you seriously jealous about only being stalked half as much as the rest of us?

Brennan: You have a point

Declan: Fuck that. Have you read those books? They’re kinda hot. I swear they gave me some tips with Aela lol

Aidan: You actually bought the books?!

Declan: Well, I wasn’t going to pirate them, sheesh. 🤷 She might be a nutcase but she’s a damn good storyteller. It’s uncanny how she portrayed Da lol

Finn: Aoife’s in her reader group

Eoghan: So’s Inessa

Aidan: God help us

Conor: Star mentioned something about another book in ‘our’ series too.

Finn: You’re JOKING

Eoghan: Nah. I heard about that as well.

Finn: FUCK

Aidan: Wonder what the hell she’s going to spill next?

Finn: Which pictures did she steal?

Conor: Aoife’s in a dress

Finn: Helpful. She’s in a dress in all the pics, goddammit

Aidan: We should get our lawyers on this

Conor: I dunno, they’re kinda 🔥 🤷‍♂️

Conor: Plus, she’s giving us a good rep which may help to get Shay into office when the time comes.

Brennan: Oh, yeah, what with spilling all the details about us unaliving people…? Really helpful

Aidan: When do they go live?

Conor: Friday

Conor: But you can see them first in her newsletter. According to her socials, that’s going out on Thursday

Conor: Might want to sign up here www.serenaakeroyd.com/newsletter

Aidan: Or you could just share them here…

Conor: Ha. Where’d be the fun in that?

Aidan: Share the picture of the teeth in the skulls, Declan.

Declan: 😈

Conor: 🙄

Conor: Heard she’s holding a special sale to celebrate too…

Bonus Scenes

Gem

Cin

Text Chats