SPIRIT IN THE SKY – NORMAN GREENBAUM
Dear Rachel,
There will come a time when my son finally realizes that he’s fucked up by not righting whatever wrong he did that split you up.
It truly saddens me that I will not be around to see that day because if you’re reading this letter, that means I’m dead and gone, and hopefully, I’m with Rene.
When she died, I set myself the task of figuring out why she was killed. I never believed it was a simple hit and run. What I uncovered was more than any one man could have ever anticipated.
The burden’s been tough, and I’m sorry to pass it along to you and Rex. It’s not tied up nice and neat with a bow as I might have wished, but I’ve been running close to the edge for years at this point, and no one can be lucky for this long without there being consequences.
I write this knowing full well that my time and luck are running out. Storm gets a letter, Rex does, but you need one too. One last note to know that you mattered to me. To Rene.
She once told me that you were perfect for Rex, but I didn’t get it. You were a weird kid. I don’t feel bad for saying that; I think we can both agree that the whole hanging out in the crawl space thing was odd. And this is pre-Harry Potter, so it’s not like you were doing it to empathize with him.
You were quiet and studious, but for all that, you were a troublemaker. Before you came along, Rex never started fights. Not a single one. He broke them up. With a temper like his, I taught him early on how to control his anger, and my lessons stuck fast. Link, Nyx, Steel, and Maverick, they all got into fights, and he got dragged into them, but he didn’t start them.
Yes, there’s a difference. You changed that. You changed a lot about my son, more than you probably even know.
Rene said that you made our boy realize what life was for, and whenever she told me that, because she told me a couple times, I informed her that she was an old romantic at heart. You can imagine what her reaction to that was!
It’s only now that you’re older, that I’ve seen you mature into the woman standing here today, that I can see her wisdom.
A man doesn’t grow until he finds the one who completes him.
I know; that isn’t something that you’d expect an old outlaw like me to write, but it’s no word of a lie. Only when a true equal is found can the measure of the man be realized.
Because of you, I’ve seen my son grow in ways I didn’t anticipate. Ways that I’m lucky to have witnessed.
You’ve been around so long that I’ve seen him in all the different phases of manhood, and I’m proud of who he is, what he stands for. I’m proud that I helped rear a son who knew how to value his woman, who knew that love is generous, forgiving.
To be honest, I think Rene instilled that in him, not me. I hope those values work in my favor because this time, I don’t know if Rex’ll be able to forgive me. I fucked up. I didn’t own up to it. I ran from my problems and I’m leaving them at his door. I hope he doesn’t hate me, I hope he knows that I love him. I didn’t tell him enough. It’s not something grown men say to one another all that often, but we should. We really fucking should, and now it’s too late.
Anyway, I didn’t mean to be a downer. When you’re writing a bunch of letters that pre-date your death, however, it’s not that easy to stay cheerful.
I just wanted to write you to tell you that Rene was always rooting for you. She saw something in you that transcended how strange you were as a little girl, that combatted the distance you shoved between you and Rex when you were a teenager.
If the day does come where you get back together, you might wonder if you’re up to the task of being his First Lady, and you should know that the OG First Lady believed you had it in you.
If that isn’t enough of an endorsement, then know that I agree with her.
The Sinners would be in safe hands if you were there to lead them at Rex’s side.
I just hope that whatever fuck up he did—because it had to be him, you’re far too smart for that—he makes up for it sooner rather than later.
Life’s too fucking short and time speeds by too fucking fast to waste any more of it.
I wish I got to stick around to be your father-in-law, to see you have kids, and to spoil them, but as that isn’t to be, give them the candy that I’d sneak to them, get Nyx or one of the others to hand Rex the cigar that I’d have smoked with him after you gave birth. And finally, know I’d have walked you down the damn aisle even if I was the father of the groom and it’s unorthodox as hell… because Rachel, if Rex doesn’t marry you, I will haunt his ass, don’t you worry about that. Rene and I will be there in spirit, and we’ll be rocking up wherever we are–heaven or hell.
Live hard, sweetheart, with Rex at your side, just don’t die young. For me?
All my love,
Bear
